WHY CHOOSE HMAF | STORE | TRAINING | TOOLS | LIFESTYLE
HMAF is a Subsidiary of The Haz Mat Guys, Inc. bringing you the most badass ideas, concepts and products.
You’ll be asking yourself,
why hasn’t someone thought of this already?
NEW HMAF COURSES
Our latest course offerings for 2025!
Nano Learning™: Because Micro Was Just Too Much
Say goodbye to bloated microlearning modules that waste your valuable scrolling time. Introducing Nano Learning™—the revolutionary* training format that delivers hazardous materials knowledge in bursts so short, you’ll barely know you learned anything at all.
UNISOLE™ One Boot to Fit Them All
Introducing the UNISOLE™ Hazmat Boot—the first and only all-size tactical footwear solution designed for foot sizes ranging from hobbit to yeti. Using our patented InflatoFit™ System, users simply slide their foot into the boot and inflate it using any standard air compressor, SCBA tank, or bicycle pump.
Level A Shorts™
Introducing Level A Shorts™, the ultimate in partial protection for full-time responders. Designed for professionals who demand top-tier chemical resistance—but also want their calves to breathe. Why sacrifice comfort for complete coverage when you can have both(ish)?
Lens Licker™
Tired of watching your visibility disappear inside your Level A suit faster than your will to live? Meet the Lens Licker™—the revolutionary* internal lens-clearing system inspired by fish tank magnet tech and unsettlingly modeled after a human tongue.
Level A, DA™
Why should mobility impairments stop you from responding to the world’s most dangerous chemical events? Introducing Level A, DA™—the first fully encapsulated hazmat ensemble designed to accommodate crutches, wheelchairs, slings, and occasionally, common sense.
How to Spill Hazardous Materials… Safely™
hey say, “Don’t cry over spilled chemicals,” but that’s only if you spill them correctly. Welcome to How to Spill Hazardous Materials… Safely™, the first course designed to help you embrace the inevitable—and do it with grace, control, and a mildly concerned supervisor watching.
WHY CHOOSE US
Over-the-top concepts. State Of The Art Technology. Smooth and refined. Someone is approving this. From our minds to your class.
In the esteemed tradition of fostering unparalleled commercial relationships, our corporation takes immense pride in articulating a mission of extraordinary distinction. With a profound commitment to advancing the frontiers of consumer engagement, we dedicate ourselves to the provision of an eclectic array of merchandise and educational opportunities. These offerings, distinguished not by their essential utility but by their sublime capacity to captivate, are designed to enchant the discerning patron into an exploration of purchases that may, upon reflection, diverge from the pragmatic or necessary.
HMAF STORE – NEW DESIGNS COMING SOON
YES… It’s a real store. Yes, you can really order one. Yes, you do look good in black.
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HM|AF
$25.00 – $27.00 -
My Slides Are Up Here
$25.00 – $27.00 -
Old School Meter
$25.00 – $27.00 -
Quality Instruction
$25.00 – $27.00 -
The Original APR
$25.00 – $27.00 -
The Original Chemical
$25.00 – $27.00 -
The Original pH Paper
$25.00 – $27.00 -
The Original Slide Deck
$25.00 – $27.00 -
The Original Tape Measure
$25.00 – $27.00
ALL HMAF TRAINING COURSES
YOUTH FENTANYL AWARENESS COURSE
A groundbreaking program driven by children’s creativity and parents’ concern. Fentanyl’s dangers in today’s world are greater than ever before and threaten our towns in new and insidious ways.
Risk-Based Sensory Mastery
This comprehensive course empowers first responders to harness the power of sight, sound, touch, smell, and even taste to assess and navigate critical incidents with unprecedented precision.
Deputy Assistant to the Finance Manager NIMS
Introducing the world’s first and only “Deputy Assistant to the Finance Manager NIMS” certification course. Aspire to specialize in a role so niche, it’s almost a legend.
HMAF ON-THE-JOB TOOLS
the hazwrite pro toolkit™
In the high-stakes world of hazardous materials handling, every detail matters – especially the clarity of your written communication.
TACTICAL NOSE CALIBRATION SCENT CARDS
Introducing the TNCSC: the ultimate preparatory tool for anyone who might face chemical hazards, yet knows the golden rule – never directly smell chemicals.
rave-rescue™ entertainment package
When the call of duty merges with the call of the beat, RaveRescue ensures that our heroes can save lives while not missing out on the life of the party.
the decision ball 5000™
Discover the Power of Decision-Making with THE DECISION BALL 5000. Navigating the complexities of hazmat incidents requires a bit of unconventional wisdom.
THE METER™
Introducing THE Meter: the ultimate, all-encompassing sensing device that boldly combines every single sensing technology known to mankind into one colossal package. Why settle for less when you can have it all?
BIO-bubble butthut™
What happens when the most human of needs arises amidst the chaos? Enter the BioBubble ButtHut: The Ultimate Solution for When Nature Calls in Nature’s Fury! Your frontline fortress for those urgent calls of nature.
HMAF LIFESTYLE
onlyhazmatters.com dating website
Introducing OnlyHazMatters.com: the first and only dating site exclusively for the heroes in hazmat! Finding someone who truly understands your lifestyle can be as tricky as navigating a chemical spill.
non-sparking kitchen utensils
Ever dreamed of frying up a feast in the midst of a flammable atmosphere? Introducing the future of culinary innovation: Non-Sparking Kitchen Utensils – where safety meets the art of cooking.
the intrinsicsafe™ lighter
Designed for the bold, the brave, and the connoisseur who dares to light up where others fear to flick. Why let a little thing like a flammable environment put a damper on your smoking experience?
Paws & Whiskers™ Personal Protective Equipment
Introducing the ultimate in pet safety: “Paws & Whiskers Personal Protective Equipment (PPE)” – because why should humans have all the protective fun downrange?
OUR MISSION
In our noble quest, we are dedicated to offering a unique assortment of products and learning experiences that, quite frankly, might not be essentials in your daily life. Our mission thrives on inspiring you to embrace the allure of spending on what might not always seem prudent. We aim to enrich our enterprise through your ventures into these captivating, albeit potentially unnecessary, investments. Consider us your ally in this journey of exquisite financial adventure, where the value lies in the experience rather than the utility.