HMAF is a Subsidiary of The Haz Mat Guys, Inc. bringing you the most badass ideas, concepts and products.

You’ll be asking yourself,
why hasn’t someone thought of this already?


Over-the-top concepts. State Of The Art Technology. Smooth and refined. Someone is approving this. From our minds to your class.

In the esteemed tradition of fostering unparalleled commercial relationships, our corporation takes immense pride in articulating a mission of extraordinary distinction. With a profound commitment to advancing the frontiers of consumer engagement, we dedicate ourselves to the provision of an eclectic array of merchandise and educational opportunities. These offerings, distinguished not by their essential utility but by their sublime capacity to captivate, are designed to enchant the discerning patron into an exploration of purchases that may, upon reflection, diverge from the pragmatic or necessary.


YES… It’s a real store. Yes, you can really order one. Yes, you do look good in black.




A groundbreaking program driven by children’s creativity and parents’ concern. Fentanyl’s dangers in today’s world are greater than ever before and threaten our towns in new and insidious ways.

Risk-Based Sensory Mastery

This comprehensive course empowers first responders to harness the power of sight, sound, touch, smell, and even taste to assess and navigate critical incidents with unprecedented precision.

Deputy Assistant to the Finance Manager NIMS

Introducing the world’s first and only “Deputy Assistant to the Finance Manager NIMS” certification course. Aspire to specialize in a role so niche, it’s almost a legend.



the hazwrite pro toolkit™

In the high-stakes world of hazardous materials handling, every detail matters – especially the clarity of your written communication.


Introducing the TNCSC: the ultimate preparatory tool for anyone who might face chemical hazards, yet knows the golden rule – never directly smell chemicals.

rave-rescue™ entertainment package

When the call of duty merges with the call of the beat, RaveRescue ensures that our heroes can save lives while not missing out on the life of the party.

the decision ball 5000™

Discover the Power of Decision-Making with THE DECISION BALL 5000. Navigating the complexities of hazmat incidents requires a bit of unconventional wisdom.


Introducing THE Meter: the ultimate, all-encompassing sensing device that boldly combines every single sensing technology known to mankind into one colossal package. Why settle for less when you can have it all?

BIO-bubble butthut™

What happens when the most human of needs arises amidst the chaos? Enter the BioBubble ButtHut: The Ultimate Solution for When Nature Calls in Nature’s Fury! Your frontline fortress for those urgent calls of nature.



onlyhazmatters.com dating website

Introducing OnlyHazMatters.com: the first and only dating site exclusively for the heroes in hazmat! Finding someone who truly understands your lifestyle can be as tricky as navigating a chemical spill.

non-sparking kitchen utensils

Ever dreamed of frying up a feast in the midst of a flammable atmosphere? Introducing the future of culinary innovation: Non-Sparking Kitchen Utensils – where safety meets the art of cooking.

the intrinsicsafe™ lighter

Designed for the bold, the brave, and the connoisseur who dares to light up where others fear to flick. Why let a little thing like a flammable environment put a damper on your smoking experience?

Paws & Whiskers™ Personal Protective Equipment

Introducing the ultimate in pet safety: “Paws & Whiskers Personal Protective Equipment (PPE)” – because why should humans have all the protective fun downrange?


In our noble quest, we are dedicated to offering a unique assortment of products and learning experiences that, quite frankly, might not be essentials in your daily life. Our mission thrives on inspiring you to embrace the allure of spending on what might not always seem prudent. We aim to enrich our enterprise through your ventures into these captivating, albeit potentially unnecessary, investments. Consider us your ally in this journey of exquisite financial adventure, where the value lies in the experience rather than the utility.


Alright, let’s keep it 💯 . Our mission? To drop the most random and wild products and courses you didn’t even know you needed (or maybe, let’s be real, didn’t need at all). Think of us as that friend who always convinces you to buy that one thing you see and laugh at but never think of actually getting. Our vibe? We’re all about inspiring you and your squad to flex your wallets on stuff that might just be for the ‘gram or might make your wallet cry a little.